For the bears, this must be

Zinderneuf

-- you know, that fort where

Beau Geste

meets his match. As

Sergeant Markoff

says, "Every bear does his duty at Zinderneuf -- dead or alive."

Today it is the job of the bears to get in those gun portals and act like they are alive, whether they are or not. Because it is the bears' covering that will cause the real charge over

Dow

10,000. And the results will be similar to the end of that great 1939 movie version. (That's the

Gary Cooper

/

Robert Preston

one.)

For us, it's business as usual, a little lightening up into the strength, sticking with my banks and my Nets. We will have more cash at the end of this day, not less. But we are paying attention to the quarter's winners for possible gang-tackle buys next week.

We had a scare of a lifetime: OSI preannounced. First we have that darn

Times Square

billboard collapse and now this?

But we were spared. It was

OSI Systems

(OSIS) - Get Report

, one of those 4 billion silicon-twisting companies out there, not

Outdoor Systems

(OSI)

, the stock we are long. Phew! Don't need a blowup on Dow 10K day. Thank heavens! Now we only have to contend with giant sellers of Outdoor Systems.

Random musings:

How about this

Greenspan

Dow 10,000 buzz-kill? He must be sympathetic to the Zinderneuf Bruins.

James J. Cramer is manager of a hedge fund and co-founder of TheStreet.com. At the time of publication, his fund was long Outdoor Systems, though positions may change at any time. Under no circumstances does the information in this column represent a recommendation to buy or sell stocks. Cramer's writings provide insights into the dynamics of money management and are not a solicitation for transactions. While he cannot provide investment advice or recommendations, he invites you to comment on his column by sending a letter to TheStreet.com.