Cramer Predicts Friday's Fund Numbers

By Joe Bousquin ,

There's nothing worse than a plus-126 day when none of your stocks goes up. Yet that's what most mutual fund shareholders¿except the index folks¿will discover when they look at the paper Friday. The Dow was up 2% Thursday, and you can bet that very few funds matched that.

The mutual fund cowboys, the shooters, the guys who come to play everyday, don't own

Merck

(up 4), wouldn't touch

United Technologies

(up 3) and wouldn't be caught dead buying

Exxon

(up 2).

In fact the only Dow stock the go-go guys like is

IBM

, which was actually down today.

The mutual fund managers thrive on small caps, the obscure, and, most important, tech. But tech hardly lifted its head Thursday.

U.S. Robotics

,

Cascade

and

Ascend

¿three mutual fund faves¿were all down. Ugh.

What can we make of a market that suddenly loves

Coke

and

Eli Lilly

but despises the

Tellabs

? Not much. To me this market smacks of someone who got caught short, perhaps someone who loaded the boat up with December puts after listening to

Barton Biggs

(or worse, me, who committed the ultimate Wrong! by going bearish on Charlie Rose's show) and had no choice but to buy stocks before expiration.

So, don't cry when you see your mutual fund numbers tomorrow. Don't panic and bolt from the

AIMs

and the

Twentieth Centuries

¿both of which never met a four-letter stock symbol they didn't love. Don't scream at the electronic voice that handles all incoming calls at your mutual fund company. And remember: You are not alone. It's the revenge of the indexers¿and we've still got another day before expiration!!

James Cramer is a hedge fund manager and co-chairman of The Street. Of the stocks mentioned in this article, he has a significant position in IBM.

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