Maven: Wretched Little Stenographers

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This sounds like a lame algebra question, but as always, The Business Press Maven hopes it will foster investor understanding of how Wall Street is covered. Did I really say that? I meant miscovered. Here goes:

A press release hits the wires at 8:30 a.m. EST on Friday. It travels into the public consciousness, and within 90 minutes, four news outlets write several sentences each on it. Boys and girls, here is the question: Why in the name of insular industry practices do three even bother writing if they are just regurgitating the blessed press release?

Business media, you wretched little stenographers, it has now been mathematically proven that you are going to wear me to a nub before the year is through. ...