Lobster With the Guru of Good Life

	Get Ready for the Lobster Boil

There is conflict in my heart: Every time I see, hold and pet a live animal I fall hard and fast. I could never imagine harming it in any way.

I have a pet dog named Teesha and a cat named Pumpkin; I treat them like they are my children and love them more than most of my relatives. Yet for over 20 years, I have been cooking and eating almost every fish and land animal that's edible.

I have killed live fish, frogs, snakes, rabbits and chickens and turned them into great dishes; I have helped my uncle Joe slaughter pigs for his annual salume fest. I have seen it all, and eaten it all. Chefs love plants and animals because they provide us with our raw materials: Like painters, these ingredients are the colors we work with.

I have dozens of pet geese, ducks and chickens -- all have names -- and I would never do more to them than eat their eggs. Somehow I deal with the dichotomy of the situation and move on.

But when it comes to lobsters, there is no conflict whatsoever. Although a few times each summer, I inevitably get the question: Do lobsters scream when you boil them?

The other night was no exception. With two dozen writhing lobsters on my kitchen counter and six pots of boiling water, I had to explain once again to a squeamish guest that no, lobsters don't scream when you cook them. The sound comes from air escaping from their carapace (shells) as they cook. Luckily, I was grilling mushrooms at the time, and they happened to be "screaming" as well, so my explanation had instant credibility.

There is almost no pleasure -- culinarily speaking, of course -- greater than the taste of a sweet and salty steamed lobster claw dipped in melted butter. Really, there isn't. ...