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Editor's Note: Welcome to "Funny Money," a feature written by New York-based comedian Jeff Kreisler. Lest there be any confusion, please note that this column is a work of satire and intended for entertainment purposes only. Enjoy the weekend.
The dollar rallied against the euro early in the week, but then it gave up an early goal to the Czech Republic and abandoned its game plan.
Donald Trump is planning a casino on the Mississippi Gulf Coast -- because if there's anything the hurricane-ravaged region needs right now, it's more hot air. Couldn't he just let them use his toupee to rebuild the levees? ...
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| Dow Jones | S&P 500 | NASDAQ | 10-Year Note | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 10,328.89 | 1,102.47 | 2,211.69 | 35.46 |
Oil *
73.88
|
|
UP
20.63
|
UP
6.40
|
UP
31.64
|
UP
0.59
|
10 Yr
3.55%
SPDR Gold
108.95
|
|
+0.20%
|
+0.58%
|
+1.45%
|
+1.69%
|
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