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Funny Money: More Chips, Less Firebombing

Stock quotes in this article: GS , TGT , GM , MRK , VG , VOD , SUNW , XOL , INTC , PFE  

Editor's Note: Welcome to "Funny Money," a feature written by New York-based comedian Jeff Kreisler. Lest there be any confusion, please note that this column is a work of satire and intended for entertainment purposes only. Enjoy the weekend.

The big news this week was the successful "star" leaving a comfortable post to jump-start a fading program. Yes, Katie Couric finally left Today. Oh, and Goldman Sachs head Hank Paulson became the next Treasury Secretary. Most Americans responded to the news by saying "We have a Treasury?"

Paulson will have to relinquish control over his $700 million equity stake in Goldman, and he's given instructions to invest it in Chinese translation services.

Before accepting the offer, Paulson made the government sign a detailed pre-nup. "I know they're just in it for the money, but sometimes a fella can't resist a fling, ya know?" ...

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