Editor's Note: Welcome to "Funny Money," a feature written by New York-based comedian Jeff Kreisler. Lest there be any confusion, please note that this column is a work of satire and intended for entertainment purposes only. Enjoy the weekend.
David Edmondson, CEO of RadioShack, resigned this week because he lied about attending Bible college. The company first suspected him when he hung a painting of the Eight Commandments.
Of all the things to lie about -- Bible college? If you're gonna lie, lie about something cool, like spy school. Or only eating at Subway to lose weight, when clearly it was surgery. I'm looking at you, Jared.
David Cole, a senior VP at MSA, took a leave of absence to explore "what the world has to offer." I did that in the middle of law school, David. I'll save a spot for you -- right here, outside Starbucks, begging for change. ...
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| Dow Jones | S&P 500 | NASDAQ | 10-Year Note | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 10,308.26 | 1,096.07 | 2,180.05 | 34.87 |
Oil *
73.22
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DOWN
132.86
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DOWN
13.11
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DOWN
26.86
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DOWN
1.09
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10 Yr
3.49%
SPDR Gold
107.34
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-1.27%
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-1.18%
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-1.22%
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-3.03%
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