The Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street This Week

The Check's in the Mail The really big check, that is

1. 'Weill, Weil, Gotshal & Manges' Has a Nice Ring to It

On Thursday, Citigroup (C Quote) recorded a staggering $4.95 billion charge to help extricate itself from bubble-era legal problems related to Enron and WorldCom.

Wow. Some companies aspire to $4.95 billion in income. Others aim for $4.95 billion in revenue. But for Citigroup, it's just a legal expense. A footnote. Unbelievable.

So here's our unsolicited advice for acquisition-crazed Chairman Sandy Weill: Forget about buying up all those banks you covet. The next time the company's money is burning a hole in your pocket, do yourself a favor and buy a law firm.

2. A Tip of the Red Hat

At Red Hat (RHAT Quote), the hits just keep on coming.

Or, more accurately, the body blows.

It started a month ago, when the market reacted nervously to the totally innocuous news that CFO Kevin Thompson was resigning. The company said Thompson was merely pursuing "other interests," but the market was suspicious: Given the rough patch the software business is in, investors like to see sudden movements in the executive suite as much as highway patrolmen like to see them at traffic stops. ...