Insufferbowl Answers: Find Out If You're a Real Sports Hater

Answers

1. Arnold Rothstein (answer c) made $270,000 for his "investments" in the Chicago White Sox. A gambler, bootlegger and drug dealer, Rothstein is often called the founder of organized crime, especially by Italian-Americans who don't want the credit. Meyer Wolfsheim is the character in The Great Gatsby based on Rothstein; you'd think that Fitzgerald would have felt more affection for a bootlegger. Big Mo Annenberg confined his interests to horseracing and, even with a felony conviction, bought his way to respectability. Auguste Shoenberg was one of the most prominent financiers in 19th century America. A shameless social climber, he converted the Yiddish Schoenberg into its French form: Belmont. Yes, that Auguste Belmont.

2. If there had been public television in A.D. 80, you could have seen 10,000 Norm Abrams building "This New Colosseum" (answer b). Between A.D. 66 and 70, Judea fought for independence against Rome. Arnold Rothstein wouldn't have bet on his ancestors. Imagine one Richard Dreyfuss trying to fight 20 Sylvester Stallones. With the predictable outcome of the war, there were so many Jewish prisoners that the price of slaves plummeted. The victorious commander Titus received 10,000 slaves and he put them to use building an amphitheater in Rome.

3. In A.D. 394, Nike was a goddess, not a corporate sponsor. Christian fundamentalists didn't approve of anyone praying to Her (answer a). The church had an understandable bias against arenas, remembering the Roman habit of force-feeding saints to lions.

4. No, it's not Teddy Roosevelt. He was a terrible athlete, but his enthusiasm camouflaged his incompetence. Ike Eisenhower was playing varsity football when he was still a freshman at West Point (answer d).

5. Of course, the British have been playing cricket since Genesis. You'll notice that Stonehenge resembles a series of wickets. English gentlemen began playing tennis in the 16th century; Henry VIII loved the game, and who dared to beat him? The British have always had something called football, although we wouldn't recognize it. (The Americans stole the name but invented new rules, completely botching the plagiarism.) Although rowing is now one of the less sordid traditions of England's public schools, until 1817 it was just a means of transportation (answer a).

How do YOU rank as a Sports Hater?

Number of correct answers:

5 -- Your statue at Barnes & Noble

4 -- A Henry James or an Edith Wharton bowling shirt

3 -- A poster from the 1936 Olympics

2 -- Cliffs Notes for Sports Illustrated

1 -- A photo of Bill Clinton playing golf

0 -- $1 coupon for chewing tobacco