No Salvation for Execs at Banc of America Securities Conference

SAN FRANCISCO -- Your god has forsaken you.

Time to get up off your knees and stop praying. There's no salvation in the first quarter, according to the assembled executive presenters at the Banc of America Securities conference here. You were thinking a few parted clouds, a blaring trumpet solo and a few rays of light could save us?

Texas Instruments' (TXN Quote - Cramer on TXN - Stock Picks) Bill Aylesworth has held the CFO job for 15 years and felt no need to beat around the burning bush. "There has been a dramatic weakening of our major markets," he said, reiterating the company's Jan. 22 guidance, rather than evoking the wrath of a vengeful god as did motor-mouthed Broadcom (BRCM Quote - Cramer on BRCM - Stock Picks) CEO Henry Nicholas Wednesday. Aylesworth predicts a 10% sequential decline in revenue from the fourth quarter to the first, as "certain handset customers continue to absorb inventory."

There, that wasn't so bad, was it? Here, you can borrow my tourniquet.

Pressing your sweaty hands together in the hopes of a little visibility? Good luck: "We can't change the economy and we can't predict it," said Aylesworth. Well, there's always faith.

Intel (INTC Quote - Cramer on INTC - Stock Picks) tried to keep its exposure to market forces sequestered, focusing instead on a glowing review of the flash memory market. Flash memory isn't interchangeable, as is dumb ol' DRAM. Flash memory companies enter into three-year contracts with built-in pricing declines to avoid market instability. Flash memory is ... oh, who the hell are they trying to kid? Let's talk computer chips.

"We didn't expect much, coming out of December," said Doug Lusk, investor relations professional and assistant treasurer, pushing aside memory executive Curt Nichols. "We projected a sequential decline of 15% or so, and we're sticking with that."

In other words, January couldn't be saved. Then again, if Intel had confessed to a feel-good January, would we have cared? "Given our track record for the last two quarters, even if I told you [differently], there's no reason you should trust us."

Good point. Lusk was last seen wading through a very expensive, imported plague of frogs out of the Ritz.

Dropped off the divinity's speed dial, Ericsson (ERICY Quote - Cramer on ERICY - Stock Picks) was similarly downcast. Sending Director of Investor Relations Gary Pinkham to address the skeptical crowd, Ericsson re-reported its atrocious fourth quarter before segueing into the first quarter. "The oversupply situation from the fourth quarter is very well extending into the first quarter," Pinkham said. For the year, the beleaguered mobile-phone maker expects 15% to 20% sales growth, and it expects 15% sales growth in the first quarter, amounting to pretax income of precisely zero dollars.

Well, that is heavenly. Save your energy for the second quarter.