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5 Dumbest Things on Wall Street This Week

4. Musk Fires Up

I have only one burning desire/Let me stand next to your...overheated adapter.

What's the matter, Jimi Hendrix fans? No good? Then move over Rover and let Elon take over.

Shares of Tesla (TSLA - Get Report) were on -- OK, we'll say it -- fire Tuesday after the electric carmaker announced deliveries of its Model S sedan reached 6,900 in the fourth quarter, topping its own forecast by 20%. Jerome Guillen, Tesla's vice president of global sales and service, also told attendees at the Detroit auto show that the company expects to double its global sales and service locations -- now totaling around 150 altogether -- by year end.

And CEO Elon Musk plans to do it all alone, according to Diarmuid O'Connell, Tesla's vice president of business development.

"Elon is committed to independence," said O'Connell. "We already have the capacity internally to engineer the vehicle. There are no plans for partnership on that project."

Of course, Tesla stock effectively trades on bold statements like these. The company's shareholders lap up such rallying cries along with the stock, further squeezing the short-sellers who now account for almost half the company's float. Perhaps that's the only way they can justify the fact that Tesla has a $21 billion market cap compared to GM's (GM) $53 billion despite the fact that GM sold nearly 10 million vehicles globally last year compared to around 20,000 for Tesla.

Our favorite pronouncement of the week, however, came straight from Musk's mouth -- or at least his Twitter account -- when he called out the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) for classifying the software fix to his charging stations as a "recall."

"Some confusion in media reports today. No Tesla vehicles are being physically recalled by Tesla," Musk said on Twitter. "The word 'recall' needs to be recalled."

You go Elon! We all know the government is probing last quarter's three Model S fires because they hate you and your semantics!

For that matter, that's probably what Boeing (BA - Get Report) shareholders are saying about Uncle Sam's latest inquiry into its similarly smoke-plagued 787 Dreamliner. In a striking coincidence, Japan Airlines temporarily grounded one of its Dreamliners at Narita Airport for spewing white smoke Tuesday just as Musk was rebuking regulators over their so-called recall. Nobody was hurt as the incident occurred during scheduled maintenance activities with no passengers on board.

"The improvements made to the 787 battery system last year appear to have worked as designed," said Boeing in a statement. The company added that the issue "appears to have involved the venting of a single battery cell."

That's it! How about this upgrade to a Doors classic for all those Boeing bulls out there:

Come on baby vent my single battery cell/Try to set the night on venting.

What? No good again?

 

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