NEW YORK ( TheStreet) -- Q: I'm a doctor, single and in my mid-thirties. I consistently find myself dating successful but emotionally unavailable men. I'm frustrated with myself because I've always prioritized work over dating. Now that I'm ready to meet the right person, I'm panicked and confused about what type of man I should be looking for. Any guidance would be greatly appreciated and welcomed, Noah. Thank you.
A: I'd start by washing away all the critical blame. Finding an emotionally available man can seem like picking out a needle from a haystack. But there's a reason for this.
Our society doesn't place much value on men's emotions. Do you see job openings calling for "emotionally available" employees? Even in my line of work, I don't think so. It's no wonder men hesitate in opening themselves up to potential partners. As you move forward in your pursuit of a compatible partner, keeping this is mind may prove useful.
Most important, you need to identify what YOU are actually looking for in a relationship. Remember not to ask for anything you aren't prepared to give.
Here are several questions that you should be able to answer:
1. How much time do you really want to spend with someone?
2. What does the intimacy and closeness with your potential partner look like?
3. To what extent, are you comfortable making collaborative decisions as a couple?
There aren't any wrong answers. Every couple operates differently. The key is finding an agreed-upon formula that works for everybody.
I trust you will find someone with whom you're very compatible.
Questions and comments can be sent to ASK NOAH at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Have a profitable and peaceful week,