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5 Dumbest Things on Wall Street This Week

Stocks in this article: GIS SCSS GT JCP JPM

5. General Mills' Seinfeld Schtick

Shove over Olympic medal winners and Super Bowl champs. There's a more deserving Wheaties box candidate than all you sports superstars.

Comedian Jerry Seinfeld of course.

Seriously, the toothy sit-com star loves cereal and "nothing." What more could you ask for based on General Mills'  (GIS) blog post late last week?

"Did we change Cheerios?" asked Tom Forsythe, the food-maker's VP of Global Communications, on the company's Web site. "No. Not really."

Tommy-Boy is not lying folks. There really is nothing happening to your morning munch, or for that matter to General Mills stock which barely budged on the news.

Here's the real deal. In a bid to ease the minds of food additive activists, General Mills says it will not be using genetically modified ingredients in its iconic oat-brand cereal. Not that this was ever an issue with Cheerios anyway. The modified seeds in question are generally used to grow corn and not oats, so like Seinfeld's hit sit-com, General Mills really is making a big show about nothing.

For the record, Cheerios Honey Nut variety will keep its GMOs in the mix, which means nothing is happening there either. A General Mills spokesman said the investment required to eliminate GMOs outside its original Cheerios brand would be prohibitive.

Not that there's anything wrong with that, in General Mills opinion.

"It's not about safety. Biotech seeds, also known as genetically modified seeds, have been approved by global food safety agencies and widely used by farmers in global food crops for almost 20 years," the General Mills blog said.

Sounds like a whole lot of yada, yada, yada to us.

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