Kass: Jim Cramer's Pool
Now on to "Jim Cramer's Pool!"
It all started in June 1996
In a building on Wall Street ... far, far away.
"Young man," exclaimed the analyst,
You're sort of a fright!
You'll never catch winners
On Jim Cramer's site!
"The site is too small."
And you might as well know it,
When brokers sell junk,
Here's the place that they throw it.
If you sat 50 years
With your worms and your wishes
You'd grow a long beard
Long before you'd catch winners!" "Hmmm...," answered Cramer,
"It may be you're right.
I've written for hours
Without one single bite. There might be no winners.
But, again, well, there might! "'Cause you never can tell
What goes on over time!
This site might be bigger
Than you or I find! "This might be a site, like I've read of in textbooks,
Connected to one of those underground brooks!
An underground river that starts here and flows
Right under 14 Wall! And then ... well, who knows? "It might keep going along, down where no one can see,
Right under the State Highway Two-Thousand-and-Three!
Right under the buildings! Right under the toes Of a honcho named Sozzi, who's hanging out his clothes! "It might keep on flowing ... perhaps, who can tell?
Right under the people in Elisabeth DeMarse's hotel! Right under Brown Brothers, where they're playing croquet!
Then under the mountains and far, far away! "This might be a river, Now mightn't it be,
Connecting Jim Cramer's site with the sea!
Then maybe some winners might be swimming toward me.
(If such things could be, They certainly would be!) "Some very smart strategists might point out the way
To the site where I'm fishing. And that's why I say
If you wait long enough; if you're patient and bright,
Who knows what you'll catch on Jim Cramer's site?! "You might catch a Missing Link (that's my pal Stephanie by name!)
You might catch a 'K-Squared' (that's managing editor Kim Khan!)
You might catch a Widlitz
A long, long drawn-out fish! "You might even catch an (Insider) Monkey named Krishnamsetty
A Norman or Laudani! You even might catch a Shrev(i)e from the movie Diner,
A Redler and an Arms
Two superb technical scribers!
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