This account is pending registration confirmation. Please click on the link within the confirmation email previously sent you to complete registration.
Need a new registration confirmation email? Click here
Stocks Under $10 with 50-100% upside potential - 14 days FREE!

5 Best Ways to Refuse a Date With a Co-Worker

NEW YORK (TheStreet) -- When a co-worker asks you out and it's not something you feel comfortable with, it's not always easy to refuse politely. If you're too harsh, you could risk making them angry or upset, but if you're too friendly, you could end up leading them on. It's no secret that dating in the workplace can jeopardize your career, but working with someone you've turned down can also create unnecessary negativity and tension at the office. We checked in with experts who weigh in on the five best ways to decline a date with a colleague and still keep things positive at the water cooler.

1. Thank them -- let them know you're flattered.

You want to thank the person, even if you're uncomfortable, says Dana Corey, founder of relationship coaching firm Modern Relationship Expert in Portland, Ore.

"Even if you have no intention of ever going out with this person, you have to thank them," she says. "They think enough of you to ask you, and that's worth showing a little appreciation."

Thanking the person also helps prevent them from feeling rejected or upset, Corey says, adding that it's important to keep in mind how you want the person to feel about you when you leave the conversation.

"They need to walk away feeling like they were respected, that you heard them," she says. "When you thank them for their offer, suddenly they feel like you had a real conversation -- not that they were just brushed off."

Also, remember that by the time someone asks you out, they've probably been admiring you from afar from a while, and it takes courage to speak up, Corey says.

"Asking you out was not something they did lightly. They had to build up their nerve to do this, and at the very least you need to tell them you appreciate their offer," she explains.

2. Let them know of your career concerns.

Examine your employee handbook for details on your company's dating policy, says Jennette Pokorny, vice president of marketing and communications at EverNext HR. Most companies have rules against a manager and a subordinate dating, and other policies that may make your conversation easier.

"It's great to be able to say, 'I really value my career, and unfortunately our company really frowns on dating, and so I've made it a policy not to go out with anyone in the workplace,'" Pokorny says.

Using this tactic will make the other person feel like you aren't rejecting them -- you're just following company procedure, she says.

"It definitely saves face to put it off on the company and let them know that dating just isn't the right move for either of your careers."

3. Be clear: This won't ever happen.

Although you may be tempted to soften the blow by using phrases such as, "Maybe in a few months," "Not now," or "I'm busy," all you're doing is ensuring that this conversation will happen again.

"You're not giving them an answer, you're just creating an opportunity for them to be more persistent," Corey says. "You have now given them an opening -- giving them hope that one day you're going to be ready."

Unfortunately, if your co-worker really has a thing for you, they may interpret "I'm busy" to mean, "Ask me again next week," Corey cautions.

Also see: 7 Ways You Insult Co-Workers Without Knowing It>>

Select the service that is right for you!

Action Alerts PLUS
Try it NOW

Jim Cramer and Stephanie Link actively manage a real portfolio and reveal their money management tactics while giving advanced notice before every trade.

Product Features:
  • $2.5+ million portfolio
  • Large-cap and dividend focus
  • Intraday trade alerts from Cramer
  • Weekly roundups
TheStreet Quant Ratings
Try it NOW
Only $49.95/yr

Access the tool that DOMINATES the Russell 2000 and the S&P 500.

Product Features:
  • Buy, hold, or sell recommendations for over 4,300 stocks
  • Unlimited research reports on your favorite stocks
  • A custom stock screener
  • Upgrade/downgrade alerts
Stocks Under $10
Try it NOW

David Peltier, uncovers low dollar stocks with extraordinary upside potential that are flying under Wall Street's radar.

Product Features:
  • Model portfolio
  • Stocks trading below $10
  • Intraday trade alerts
  • Weekly roundups
Dividend Stock Advisor
Try it NOW

Jim Cramer's protege, David Peltier, identifies the best of breed dividend stocks that will pay a reliable AND significant income stream.

Product Features:
  • Diversified model portfolio of dividend stocks
  • Alerts when market news affect the portfolio
  • Bi-weekly updates with exact steps to take - BUY, HOLD, SELL
Real Money Pro
Try it NOW

All of Real Money, plus 15 more of Wall Street's sharpest minds delivering actionable trading ideas, a comprehensive look at the market, and fundamental and technical analysis.

Product Features:
  • Real Money + Doug Kass Plus 15 more Wall Street Pros
  • Intraday commentary & news
  • Ultra-actionable trading ideas
Options Profits
Try it NOW

Our options trading pros provide daily market commentary and over 100 monthly option trading ideas and strategies to help you become a well-seasoned trader.

Product Features:
  • 100+ monthly options trading ideas
  • Actionable options commentary & news
  • Real-time trading community
  • Options TV
To begin commenting right away, you can log in below using your Disqus, Facebook, Twitter, OpenID or Yahoo login credentials. Alternatively, you can post a comment as a "guest" just by entering an email address. Your use of the commenting tool is subject to multiple terms of service/use and privacy policies - see here for more details.
Submit an article to us!
DOW 17,001.22 -38.27 -0.22%
S&P 500 1,988.40 -3.97 -0.20%
NASDAQ 4,538.5510 +6.4470 0.14%

Brokerage Partners

Rates from

  • Mortgage
  • Credit Cards
  • Auto

Free Newsletters from TheStreet

My Subscriptions:

After the Bell

Before the Bell

Booyah! Newsletter

Midday Bell

TheStreet Top 10 Stories

Winners & Losers

Register for Newsletters
Top Rated Stocks Top Rated Funds Top Rated ETFs