I'm talking about all those drive-by analysts who have never gotten it right. They didn't get it right on Apple's ascent to the top, and they failed miserably on the way down. Apple analysts are the most sorry, rag-tag, well-educated idiots one could ever imagine.
I'm not pulling any punches here, knowing full well that I'm making enemies of hapless fools who will never accept an interview or phone call from me. Let's face it, I'm not a friend of these guys because I know who they are. I've worked with them, supported them, cleaned up after them and been nearly broken by them. I am the anti- Philip Elmer-DeWitt. And I'm ok with that.
Apple broke out in spectacular fashion over the past week, advancing over 10%, eclipsing the initial surge achieved last Tuesday before the earnings call, and rocketing through support levels.How could this be? Every analyst predicted Apple's demise. Even noted Apple bull Gene Munster threw Apple under the bus. I don't recall a single analyst who had positive words for Apple over the past week -- and I should know, I've been watching them like a hawk in the Analyst Watch section of the AppleInvestor Web site. I get the feeling Apple analysts have this self-inscribed duty to tell Apple how to run its business, and if Apple doesn't listen the analysts make it their duty to punish the iMaker with unfavorable words. It's this arrogance I can't stand. They really believe they know how a multi-billion-dollar business should be run. What they should be doing is learning from Apple, not the other way around. They should hold up Apple as the epitome of American capitalism. Well, it appears the bottom is in with this 10% surge from $390. I would like to point out my calling the $390 bottom in late March to the dollar, it was published here on TheStreet. Did any analyst pick up on that? No. Did anyone at TheStreet recognize it or give me props? No. Because it didn't fit the model of destruction. In fact, I was politely ridiculed by the chief protagonist and fellow contributor, Rocco Pendola. But it's not just TheStreet, it's virtually every major financial Web site, with the exception of CNN Money's Apple 2.0 blog, edited and written solely by Phillip Elmer-DeWitt. Phillip is a special person. He manages to keep on the right side of everyone. He's both a pal to the analysts and a hero to the Apple faithful. I just can't do that. Interesting side note: I have a second-level connection on LinkedIn to every Apple analyst there is, through Phillip Elmer DeWitt. But I don't have a single first-level connection, nor do I expect to ever have one. So, with the analysts in our rear-view mirror, what can we expect from them? That's easy -- they'll jump aboard and they will consistently underestimate Apple's numbers for a time, then they'll over-estimate one time, and claim Apple is going to hell. Like "Groundhog Day." Or, as Yogi would say, deja vu all over again. -- Written by Ernie Varitimos, author of the Apple Investor blog. At the time of publication the author had no position in any of the stocks mentioned. Follow @appleinvestor This article was written by an independent contributor, separate from TheStreet's regular news coverage.