1. Cyprus Silliness
Her Majesty's Not-So Secret Airlift: The British government sent a plane carrying one million euros to Cyprus as a "contingency measure" to help troops and their families. In a statement, the Ministry of Defense said it is asking personnel "if they want their March, and future months' salaries paid into UK bank accounts, rather than Cypriot accounts." To which we hear the British troops are replying: "What do you think Sherlock?"
Archbishop's Unorthodox Solution: As worried Cypriots pray for the banking crisis to be resolved, the country's influential Orthodox church offered to help this week. Cyprus powerful Archbishop Chrysostomos II said "the wealth of the church is at the disposal of the country." To which we hear Vladimir Stalin . . . we mean Putin, shot back: "The Pope? How many dividends does he have?"
Putin's Hyprocrisy/Apoplexy: Russian leaders hit the roof over the EU's original plan to tax bank deposits as part of its bailout package. President Vladimir Putin went so far as to call the move "unfair, unprofessional and dangerous." To which we overheard a Russian gangster say: "We can settle this problem over cocktails. Make mine a Molotov."