This Day On The Street
Continue to site
This account is pending registration confirmation. Please click on the link within the confirmation email previously sent you to complete registration.
Need a new registration confirmation email? Click here

Relationship Deal Breakers, Then And Now

The naïveté of youth

A couple of decades later, some of those deal breakers would still be important (were I in the market for a mate again), while others, frankly, seem rather silly. I couldn't date anyone who was an addict of any kind, though casual drinking is just fine; I do it myself (though I still have never been drunk). As for being Catholic, I don't even go to church anymore, much to my mother's gnashing of teeth. A sense of humor is still good to have, but couples don't have to find the exact same things funny. Since I've become a bit of a health nut, smoking would still be tough, but perhaps not quite deal-breaker status. I'd still include “couch potato” on the list. Music and dancing have become less important as I've gotten older.

What strikes me now - after spending many years building a career, raising a family, and co-running a household - is the lack of any practical deal breakers I would have had back then. Specifically, there's nothing about the management of money. Of course, in my early 20s I was still in that “save the world” phase. I had been in a seminary, then chose a pre-med degree so I could be a doctor for underprivileged populations; but instead of going to medical school, I became a volunteer teacher in inner-city schools (though my specific school ending up not being so inner-city). To have put something about money on the deal-breaker list would have seemed shallow and materialistic.

But I've since grown up. If I were to make that list now, it would have  something about the management of money. It wouldn't be as strict as “A woman with more than $10,000 in credit card debt and carries a balance” because I've known so many good people who have been in that situation. But I've also seen so much marital strife caused by financial difficulties and mismatched priorities. My wife, who's a mental-health therapist, has plenty of examples of her own, from her many years of  helping people get their lives together.

It's not that two people have to be perfectly matched. When my wife and I first met, she was much more comfortable with a low bank account than I was. It was understandable, given the way she grew up. But she recognized that it wasn't ideal, and I relaxed a bit, too; we got each other to compromise. She's been fabulous about setting up various accounts for our financial goals, and I've relaxed about spending a bit more for things like family vacations.

2 of 3

Check Out Our Best Services for Investors

Action Alerts PLUS

Portfolio Manager Jim Cramer and Director of Research Jack Mohr reveal their investment tactics while giving advanced notice before every trade.

Product Features:
  • $2.5+ million portfolio
  • Large-cap and dividend focus
  • Intraday trade alerts from Cramer
Quant Ratings

Access the tool that DOMINATES the Russell 2000 and the S&P 500.

Product Features:
  • Buy, hold, or sell recommendations for over 4,300 stocks
  • Unlimited research reports on your favorite stocks
  • A custom stock screener
Stocks Under $10

David Peltier uncovers low dollar stocks with serious upside potential that are flying under Wall Street's radar.

Product Features:
  • Model portfolio
  • Stocks trading below $10
  • Intraday trade alerts
14-Days Free
Only $9.95
14-Days Free
Dividend Stock Advisor

David Peltier identifies the best of breed dividend stocks that will pay a reliable AND significant income stream.

Product Features:
  • Diversified model portfolio of dividend stocks
  • Updates with exact steps to take - BUY, HOLD, SELL
Trifecta Stocks

Every recommendation goes through 3 layers of intense scrutiny—quantitative, fundamental and technical analysis—to maximize profit potential and minimize risk.

Product Features:
  • Model Portfolio
  • Intra Day Trade alerts
  • Access to Quant Ratings
Real Money

More than 30 investing pros with skin in the game give you actionable insight and investment ideas.

Product Features:
  • Access to Jim Cramer's daily blog
  • Intraday commentary and news
  • Real-time trading forums
Only $49.95
14-Days Free
14-Days Free


Chart of I:DJI
DOW 17,888.35 +168.43 0.95%
S&P 500 2,102.63 +22.22 1.07%
NASDAQ 5,156.3060 +47.64 0.93%

Free Reports

Top Rated Stocks Top Rated Funds Top Rated ETFs