This Day On The Street
Continue to site
This account is pending registration confirmation. Please click on the link within the confirmation email previously sent you to complete registration.
Need a new registration confirmation email? Click here

5 Dumbest Things on Wall Street This Week: March 15

2. Bloomie's Soda Battle

A state Supreme Court Justice struck down New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg's ban on oversized sugary drinks Monday night calling it "arbitrary and capricious." Bloomberg, in response to the 11th hour action, vowed to appeal the ruling.

That's where it stands now and, to be perfectly frank, the stalemate is fine with us. We here at the Five Dumbest Lab don't have a rooting interest in the city's soda battle. Like Bloomberg, we don't want obese, toothless kids waddling around our fair city, sucking down sugar-stuffed Big Gulps bigger than their little heads.

On the other hand, we do see the soda purveyors' point that, to succinctly state their legal case, Mayor Mike should mind his own goddamn business.

All those qualifications aside, while we won't weigh in on either side of this obesity/nanny-state debate, we do feel the need to comment on the stellar preparation made by some beverage sellers in the face of Bloomberg's embargo.

McDonald's (MCD - Get Report), for example, stocked up on sugar packets in advance of the ban that was supposed to begin Tuesday. Mickey Dees said customers ordering a large coffee would have been welcome to take as many sugar packets as they require.

Are you paying attention FEMA? Next time a hurricane threatens to devastate a small city, do like Ronald McDonald does and stock up on the sweet stuff!

Or how about Dunkin' Donuts (DNKN), which readied its caffeine-addicted customers (hmmm, is coffee next on Bloomie's hit list?) by distributing leaflets to explain the law's impact on its menu. Dunkin's doomsday strategy was to serve its large drinks unsweetened and then direct patrons to a self-serve sugar station.

Luckily for the donut seller it never went that far, because anybody who has ever ordered an unsweetened iced tea knows that trick won't work. If anything, it causes you to dump even more sugar into the cup until you get a mound at the bottom.

Perhaps our favorite response came from Starbuck's (SBUX), which claimed its beverages were milk-based and therefore fell outside the Mayor's ban altogether.

What a brilliant legal point! Who needs barristers when you have baristas?

"People are dying every day," Bloomberg said about the decision. "This is not a joke. This is about real lives."

Forgive our gallows humor Mr. Mayor. Just because it's not a joke doesn't mean it's not funny.
4 of 5

Check Out Our Best Services for Investors

Action Alerts PLUS

Portfolio Manager Jim Cramer and Director of Research Jack Mohr reveal their investment tactics while giving advanced notice before every trade.

Product Features:
  • $2.5+ million portfolio
  • Large-cap and dividend focus
  • Intraday trade alerts from Cramer
Quant Ratings

Access the tool that DOMINATES the Russell 2000 and the S&P 500.

Product Features:
  • Buy, hold, or sell recommendations for over 4,300 stocks
  • Unlimited research reports on your favorite stocks
  • A custom stock screener
Stocks Under $10

David Peltier uncovers low dollar stocks with serious upside potential that are flying under Wall Street's radar.

Product Features:
  • Model portfolio
  • Stocks trading below $10
  • Intraday trade alerts
14-Days Free
Only $9.95
14-Days Free
Dividend Stock Advisor

David Peltier identifies the best of breed dividend stocks that will pay a reliable AND significant income stream.

Product Features:
  • Diversified model portfolio of dividend stocks
  • Updates with exact steps to take - BUY, HOLD, SELL
Trifecta Stocks

Every recommendation goes through 3 layers of intense scrutiny—quantitative, fundamental and technical analysis—to maximize profit potential and minimize risk.

Product Features:
  • Model Portfolio
  • Intra Day Trade alerts
  • Access to Quant Ratings
Real Money

More than 30 investing pros with skin in the game give you actionable insight and investment ideas.

Product Features:
  • Access to Jim Cramer's daily blog
  • Intraday commentary and news
  • Real-time trading forums
Only $49.95
14-Days Free
14-Days Free
BBY $31.95 1.33%
GE $30.36 -0.98%
MCD $114.40 0.10%
SKUL $4.17 -3.92%
SPPI $5.69 3.83%


Chart of I:DJI
DOW 17,813.39 +1.20 0.01%
S&P 500 2,088.87 -0.27 -0.01%
NASDAQ 5,116.1430 +13.3350 0.26%

Free Reports

Top Rated Stocks Top Rated Funds Top Rated ETFs