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TheStreet Open House

ThinkGeek Prepares To Install Hearts In All New Robots

FAIRFAX, Va., Jan. 29, 2013 /PRNewswire/ -- The mad scientists at ThinkGeek (NASDAQ: GKNT) have successfully managed to install synthetic hearts in robots and give them the ability to love.  In return, these new emotionally available robots have expressed an interest in buying gifts for each other on Valentine's Day.  Thankfully, the engineers at ThinkGeek created some of those as well.

(Logo: http://photos.prnewswire.com/prnh/20120510/MM05555LOGO)

(Logo: http://photos.prnewswire.com/prnh/20120509/SF04293LOGO)

ThinkGeek's Valentine's Day offerings now include:

  • 8-Bit Rose
    • For creatures not yet able to properly render what it means to stop and visual scan the roses.
  • Plush Unicorn Bouquet
    • Teaching them that impaling things is good...is bad.  Teaching them that impaling cute plush mythical creatures, however, is perfectly ok with our legal department.
  • European-Style Charm Bracelet
    • Even gender-neutral cybernetic wrists need some geek bling.
  • Portal Companion Cube Gift Box
    • It's probably best that they learn to love a cube before trying to hug Aunt Margie.
  • Zombie Valentine's Day Gift Cards
    • One of the first statements of "love" was actually a robot letting us know that they too were "over the vampire thing".
  • Chocolate Flavored Envelopes with Note Cards
    • This is our little joke on them.  We have yet to install taste sensors.

Speaking under the condition of anonymity, the ThinkGeek's Undersecretary for the [REDACTED] states, "We thought about creating emotions based around Mother's Day, however we couldn't properly emulate 'guilt' in the test 'bots."

While none of the robots (or their mechanical hearts) are available for sale, you can find all of the gift items that ThinkGeek has created for them.  Each would be an appropriate gift for the significant sentient being in your life.

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