This Day On The Street
Continue to site right-arrow
ADVERTISEMENT
This account is pending registration confirmation. Please click on the link within the confirmation email previously sent you to complete registration.
Need a new registration confirmation email? Click here
TheStreet Open House

JPMorgan's Whale of a Wall Street Fairy Tale: Street Whispers

NEW YORK ( TheStreet) --BlueMountain Capital Management's hire of former JPMorgan Chase (JPM - Get Report) investment bank CEO Jes Staley is like the happy ending to a fairy tale.

First there was a big bank--JPMorgan--that had indigestion because of some $6 billion in losing trades. These are now known as the London Whale Trades.

These trades were very embarrassing to the king--er--CEO, a man named Jamie Dimon.

He had referred to them as a "tempest in a teapot," perhaps after having nibbled on a giant mushroom.

Along came a friendly hedge fund named BlueMountain. Seeing King Jamie in trouble, it offered to help him "unwind" the trades. Unwind is a word that bankers like to use to talk about trades to make themselves feel better.

BlueMountain was ruled by another good king named Andrew Feldstein. King Andrew was not as well known as King Jamie. He probably told his friends he liked to fly under the radar--more words that bankers like to use to make themselves feel better.

When King Andrew was a lad, in the 1990s, he toiled in the JPMorgan kingdom, inventing fancy trades to please the king, who at the time was called Sandy. At the time, he met another lad named Jes Staley, who would grow to be very rich and powerful working for King Jamie.

Seeing King Jamie and his knight Jess in trouble with the London Whale trades, Andrew wanted to help.

So they harpooned the Whale, and King Jamie was so grateful, he gave King Andrew all the blubber to boil down into oil to heat his kingdom. And King Andrew was so happy he hired Sir Jess and made him a partner at Blue Mountain, and JPMorgan issued a statement.

"BlueMountain is an important client of ours, and we look forward to working with Jes in the future.  Please join me in thanking Jes for his decades of dedicated service to JPMorgan, and in wishing him and his family all the best in the future," the statement read.

And everyone lived happily ever after, without any conflict of interest whatsoever.

-- Written by Dan Freed in New York.

Disclosure: TheStreet's editorial policy prohibits staff editors, reporters and analysts from holding positions in any individual stocks.

Check Out Our Best Services for Investors

Action Alerts PLUS

Portfolio Manager Jim Cramer and Director of Research Jack Mohr reveal their investment tactics while giving advanced notice before every trade.

Product Features:
  • $2.5+ million portfolio
  • Large-cap and dividend focus
  • Intraday trade alerts from Cramer
Quant Ratings

Access the tool that DOMINATES the Russell 2000 and the S&P 500.

Product Features:
  • Buy, hold, or sell recommendations for over 4,300 stocks
  • Unlimited research reports on your favorite stocks
  • A custom stock screener
Stocks Under $10

David Peltier uncovers low dollar stocks with serious upside potential that are flying under Wall Street's radar.

Product Features:
  • Model portfolio
  • Stocks trading below $10
  • Intraday trade alerts
14-Days Free
Try it NOW
Only $9.95
Try it NOW
14-Days Free
Try it NOW

Check Out Our Best Services for Investors

Dividend Stock Advisor

David Peltier identifies the best of breed dividend stocks that will pay a reliable AND significant income stream.

Product Features:
  • Diversified model portfolio of dividend stocks
  • Updates with exact steps to take - BUY, HOLD, SELL
Trifecta Stocks

Every recommendation goes through 3 layers of intense scrutiny—quantitative, fundamental and technical analysis—to maximize profit potential and minimize risk.

Product Features:
  • Model Portfolio
  • Intra Day Trade alerts
  • Access to Quant Ratings
Options Profits

Our options trading pros provide over 100 monthly option trading ideas and strategies to help you become a well-seasoned trader.

Product Features:
  • Actionable options commentary and news
  • Real-time trading community
Try it NOW
Try it NOW
Try it NOW
To begin commenting right away, you can log in below using your Disqus, Facebook, Twitter, OpenID or Yahoo login credentials. Alternatively, you can post a comment as a "guest" just by entering an email address. Your use of the commenting tool is subject to multiple terms of service/use and privacy policies - see here for more details.
Submit an article to us!
SYM TRADE IT LAST %CHG
JPM $59.54 0.00%
AAPL $124.24 0.00%
FB $83.01 0.00%
GOOG $555.17 0.00%
TSLA $190.41 0.00%

Markets

DOW 17,678.23 -40.31 -0.23%
S&P 500 2,056.15 -4.90 -0.24%
NASDAQ 4,863.3620 -13.1570 -0.27%

Partners Compare Online Brokers

Free Reports

Free Newsletters from TheStreet

My Subscriptions:

After the Bell

Before the Bell

Booyah! Newsletter

Midday Bell

TheStreet Top 10 Stories

Winners & Losers

Register for Newsletters
Top Rated Stocks Top Rated Funds Top Rated ETFs