This Day On The Street
Continue to site
This account is pending registration confirmation. Please click on the link within the confirmation email previously sent you to complete registration.
Need a new registration confirmation email? Click here

The Best of Kass

"You might catch a Price -- yeah that Price is usually right (!) Or an 'I Got The' Balas With a precision-like tail! You might get hot with a 'Burn Baby' Byrne Who makes portfolios sail! You might catch some Ironfire's Eric (not Bo!) Jackson Who's a high-stepping winner. You might catch a Danny, that's Red Sox fan and Stone's new dad, my editor!

"You might catch a Gad (Zooks!) With that incredible pen For producing the models That winners portend. You might catch a sensible Gayed An Arnold or a Lang Or even a Collins (not Phil but a Tim!) Who is really sporty!

"You might catch a Morrow, a Moreno or a Melvin Now mightn't you, now!?! You might catch a Stalter Whose ideas pay for my chow. Some fish from London. Like Real Money -- so hot, Might decide to sign up! Well they might, might they not?

"Or racing up north for a chance to get right, Full steam ahead for Jim Cramer's site Some lucrative winners Like my fav, 'The Divine Ms. M.' From beyond Hudson Bay Might decide to swim down, Might be headed Jim's way! It's a pretty long trip, But they might, and they may.

"You might catch a Versace (not the designer, it's Chris!) A Graff or a Jackson

"Or even travel 'Downtown' with Josh Brown Well, you might. It depends. A long-twisting CNBC-chatting Fitzpatrick With a lot of strange bends And, oddly enough, With a pen on both ends!

"One doesn't catch this kind of winner as a rule, But the chances are fine in Jim Cramer's pool!

"You might find a Ponsi 'Scheme' An observer with muscle, Might grab at your bait, Then would you have a tussle!

"To land one so valuable might take two or three hours, But the next might be easy, Like Melvin, who likes flowers Or you might catch a winner From a stranger place yet! Like Graff, from the world's highest river, In far-off Tibet.

"You might catch a Katz And a biggie named Dicker Both spouting their spouts And all earning a bounty.

"You'll probably catch many more writers Like Schiller and Peltier

And, oh by the way, Did I mention an 'Ask Noah?'

"Then you'll stop for the day 'Cause there's nothing that's bigger Than Jim's site, so they say.

"Still, of course, it might be That there is something bigger! Someone like Rev Shark A Thing-A-Ma-Jigger! Rev's a technician so big, if you know what I mean, That he makes a whale look like a tiny sardine!

"Oh, the site is full of a number of oldies, Like Woodard, Williams and Malandrino, Schwartz, Smith and Shove And Hughes and Maragioglio. If a subscriber is patient, He might get many more winners!

"And that's why I think That we all get really bright As we sit here and read On Jim Cramer's site!"

At the time of publication, Kass had no positions in stocks mentioned.

Doug Kass is the president of Seabreeze Partners Management Inc. Under no circumstances does this information represent a recommendation to buy, sell or hold any security.
5 of 5

Check Out Our Best Services for Investors

Action Alerts PLUS

Portfolio Manager Jim Cramer and Director of Research Jack Mohr reveal their investment tactics while giving advanced notice before every trade.

Product Features:
  • $2.5+ million portfolio
  • Large-cap and dividend focus
  • Intraday trade alerts from Cramer
Quant Ratings

Access the tool that DOMINATES the Russell 2000 and the S&P 500.

Product Features:
  • Buy, hold, or sell recommendations for over 4,300 stocks
  • Unlimited research reports on your favorite stocks
  • A custom stock screener
Stocks Under $10

David Peltier uncovers low dollar stocks with serious upside potential that are flying under Wall Street's radar.

Product Features:
  • Model portfolio
  • Stocks trading below $10
  • Intraday trade alerts
14-Days Free
Only $9.95
14-Days Free
Dividend Stock Advisor

David Peltier identifies the best of breed dividend stocks that will pay a reliable AND significant income stream.

Product Features:
  • Diversified model portfolio of dividend stocks
  • Updates with exact steps to take - BUY, HOLD, SELL
Trifecta Stocks

Every recommendation goes through 3 layers of intense scrutiny—quantitative, fundamental and technical analysis—to maximize profit potential and minimize risk.

Product Features:
  • Model Portfolio
  • Intra Day Trade alerts
  • Access to Quant Ratings
Real Money

More than 30 investing pros with skin in the game give you actionable insight and investment ideas.

Product Features:
  • Access to Jim Cramer's daily blog
  • Intraday commentary and news
  • Real-time trading forums
Only $49.95
14-Days Free
14-Days Free
AAPL $94.13 -1.10%
FB $117.63 0.17%
GOOG $697.10 0.68%
TSLA $224.00 -3.60%
YHOO $35.97 -0.11%


Chart of I:DJI
DOW 17,659.34 -91.57 -0.52%
S&P 500 2,048.00 -15.37 -0.74%
NASDAQ 4,718.88 -44.3440 -0.93%

Free Reports

Top Rated Stocks Top Rated Funds Top Rated ETFs