The Best of Kass
Now to "Jim Cramer's Pool!"
It all started in June 1996 In a building on Wall Street ... far, far away.
"Young man," exclaimed the analyst, "You're sort of a fright! You'll never catch winners On Jim Cramer's site!
"The site is too small. And you might as well know it, When brokers sell junk, Here's the place that they throw it."But listen, young man. If you sat 50 years With your worms and your wishes You'd grow a long beard Long before you'd catch winners!" "Hmmm...," answered Cramer, "It may be you're right. I've written for hours Without one single bite. There might be no winners. But, again, well, there might! "Cause you never can tell What goes on over time! This site might be bigger Than you or I find! "This might be a site, like I've read of in textbooks, Connected to one of those underground brooks! An underground river that starts here and flows Right under 14 Wall! And then ... well, who knows? "It might keep going along, down where no one can see, Right under the State Highway Two-Thousand-and-Three! Right under the buildings! Right under the toes Of a honcho named Sozzi, who's hanging out his clothes! "It might keep on flowing ... perhaps, who can tell? Right under the people in Elisabeth DeMarse's hotel! Right under Brown Brothers, where they're playing croquet! Then under the mountains and far, far away! "This might be a river, Now mightn't it be, Connecting Jim Cramer's site with the sea! Then maybe some winners might be swimming toward me. (If such things could be, They certainly would be!) "Some very smart strategists might point out the way To the site where I'm fishing. And that's why I say If you wait long enough; if you're patient and bright, Who knows what you'll catch on Jim Cramer's site?! "You might catch a Missing Link (that's my pal Stephanie by name!) You might catch a 'K-Squared' (that's managing editor Kim Khan!) You might catch a Widlitz A long, long drawn-out fish! "You might even catch an (Insider) Monkey named Krishnamsetty A Norman or Laudani! You even might catch a Shrev(i)e from the movie Diner, A Redler and an Arms Two superb technical scribers! "Any kind! Any shape! Any color or size! You might catch some winners that would open your eyes! I won't be surprised if a Lien appears! Complete with a collar and long floppy ears! Whoofing along! And perhaps we might chase A whole lot of right straight to this place!
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