This Day On The Street
Continue to site
ADVERTISEMENT
This account is pending registration confirmation. Please click on the link within the confirmation email previously sent you to complete registration.
Need a new registration confirmation email? Click here

The Santa Index 2012: St. Nick's Efforts Worth About $135,000 This Year

We did a little checking for St. Nick and found he needs nothing short of a holiday miracle to get decent life insurance rates -- or to qualify at all. Good thing our favorite jolly old elf will live forever and doesn't need coverage.

Here's what's working against him.

Age

The older you get, the more expensive life insurance becomes. When Santa's age is disclosed for life insurance, all he gets is a lump of coal.

So we decided to be a little bit bad -- but with good intentions -- and fudge the numbers. (Don't try this at home when you're actually applying for insurance.)

With a beard white as snow, we figured Santa probably wouldn't pass for under 60, but his lively and quick ability to bound down chimneys and the twinkle in his eye should put him on the right side of 70. Our estimate for this exercise: 65.

Weight

A lithe, barbell-toting, tofu-eating Santa in red spandex and running shoes isn't our idea of jolly. Still, all that candy-cane taste-testing at the toy factory, along with those countless plates of milk and cookies on Christmas Eve, aren't doing Santa any favors.

Beloved as his plump figure is, Santa's chubbiness is going to cost him. We ran online life insurance quotes for a 20-year, $250,000 level-premium term life policy for a 5-foot-5, 65-year-old man living in Alaska. (There was no option for the North Pole.) With a healthy weight of 140 pounds, the cheapest rate was $2,573 a year. But anonymous, well-placed elf sources tell us Santa tips the scales at 215; that factor alone boosts the lowest rate to $3,700 a year.

Pipe smoking

It pains us to say this, but when it comes to insurance Santa's penchant for pipe smoking puts even him on the slightly naughty list. Yes, the way the smoke encircles his head like a wreath is charming. And he does indeed look dandy with that stump of pipe held tight in his teeth. But pipe smokers are at greater risk for lung cancer and all sorts of other very unmerry things.

2 of 4

Check Out Our Best Services for Investors

Action Alerts PLUS

Portfolio Manager Jim Cramer and Director of Research Jack Mohr reveal their investment tactics while giving advanced notice before every trade.

Product Features:
  • $2.5+ million portfolio
  • Large-cap and dividend focus
  • Intraday trade alerts from Cramer
Quant Ratings

Access the tool that DOMINATES the Russell 2000 and the S&P 500.

Product Features:
  • Buy, hold, or sell recommendations for over 4,300 stocks
  • Unlimited research reports on your favorite stocks
  • A custom stock screener
Stocks Under $10

David Peltier uncovers low dollar stocks with serious upside potential that are flying under Wall Street's radar.

Product Features:
  • Model portfolio
  • Stocks trading below $10
  • Intraday trade alerts
14-Days Free
Only $9.95
14-Days Free
To begin commenting right away, you can log in below using your Disqus, Facebook, Twitter, OpenID or Yahoo login credentials. Alternatively, you can post a comment as a "guest" just by entering an email address. Your use of the commenting tool is subject to multiple terms of service/use and privacy policies - see here for more details.
Submit an article to us!
SYM TRADE IT LAST %CHG

Markets

DOW 18,080.14 +21.45 0.12%
S&P 500 2,117.69 +4.76 0.23%
NASDAQ 5,092.0850 +36.0220 0.71%

Partners Compare Online Brokers

Free Reports

Top Rated Stocks Top Rated Funds Top Rated ETFs