- Industrial engineer. Making toys might sound like fun and games, but it's not child's play. As an industrial engineer running the North Pole workshop, Santa supervises the design, development and testing of every gadget and trinket the elves produce. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the job includes quality and inventory control, cost analysis, logistics, and management of human -- er, elf, -- work factors. Annual earnings for eight hours a day every day: $111,792.
- Labor relations specialist. Elves are a merry bunch, but that doesn't mean disputes don't erupt. Coordinating grievance procedures, handling complaints and resolving disagreements are all part of Santa's job. We figure he spends at least half an hour a day dealing with elf labor issues. Annual earnings: $5,167.
- Correspondence clerk. The millions of letters from children can't go unread. Fortunately Santa is a speed-reader. An hour a day as a correspondence clerk for 100 days a year would earn him $1,656.
- Professional shopper. Think of the nightmare on Christmas morning if Santa didn't carefully select who should get which toy. Susie would get the pair of skates, and Johnny would get the sled. Poor Nelly would get a storybook she's already read. Eight hours a day 15 days a year spent selecting presents would yield $2,303.
- Rancher. Reindeer don't just take care of themselves. Santa feeds and cleans up after the herd, supervises reindeer games and steps in when name-calling gets out of hand. Annual earnings for one hour a day every day: $4,234.
- Private investigator. Seeing you sleeping, knowing when you're awake, tracking the naughty and nice: normally that would be a 24/7 operation. If he squeezes in an hour a day for sleuthing in the month leading up to Christmas, the annual earnings would be $701.
- Accounting clerk. Making lists and checking them twice an hour a day one month before Christmas would bring in $401.
- Shipping and receiving clerk. The miracle of singlehandedly distributing toys to every boy and girl overnight earns Santa a grand total of $146.50. Beat that Federal Express.
- Pilot. Guided only by the red glow of a reindeer nose, Santa drives his sleigh through the foggy night air and performs millions of rooftop takeoffs and landings. Average earnings for an airline pilot for 10 hours: $568.
The Santa Index 2012: Earnings details
|Santa's job||BLS occupation used||Hours per day||Days per year||Mean hourly
|Manufacturing executive (workshop)||Industrial Engineers||8||364||$38.39||$111,792|
|Professional shopper||Sales and Related Workers||8||15||$19.19||$2,303|
|Wrapper||Packers and Packagers, Hand||12||14||$10.81||$1,816|
|Labor negotiator (with elves)||Labor Relations Specialists||0.5||365||$28.31||$5,167|
|Letter reader||Correspondence Clerks||1||100||$17.04||$1,656|
|Company representative in mall||Customer Service Representatives||8||21||$15.92||$2,675|
|Investigator (knows if you've been good or bad)||Private Detectives and Investigators||1||30||$23.37||$701|
|List checker (checking it twice)||Bookkeeping, Accounting, and Auditing Clerks||1||30||$13.38||$401|
|Taking care of reindeer||
Farmworkers, Farm, Ranch, and Aquacultural Animals
|Snow plow driver||Highway Maintenance Workers||0.5||360||$17.47||$3,145|
|Pilot||Airline Pilots, Copilots, and Flight Engineer||10||1||$56.76||$568|
|Going down chimneys (chimney sweep)||Building Cleaning Workers||10||1||$13.89||$139|
|Cookie & milk taster||Agricultural Inspectors||10||1||$20.25||$203|
|Deliveries via sleigh (distributor)||Shipping, Receiving, and Traffic Clerks||10||1||$14.65||$147|
|Announcer ("Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!")||Public Address System and Other Announcers||0.01||1||$19.17||19 cents|
Wage source: Bureau of Labor Statistics