This Day On The Street
Continue to site
This account is pending registration confirmation. Please click on the link within the confirmation email previously sent you to complete registration.
Need a new registration confirmation email? Click here

Coming Out to a Parent: Ask Noah

NEW YORK ( TheStreet) -- Q: Noah, my dad constantly bugs me about my dating life. I'm in my mid-20s and this gets annoying. The fact is I'm gay and I suspect he has figured this out.

I really need to come out to him. We have a very loving relationship, but I am still nervous about what his reaction might be. I have asked some trusted friends for advice and would love to hear what you have to say as well.

A: Thanks for trusting my opinion . . .

Love and sexuality are highly charged and intense subjects to bring up with parents.

You suspect your father knows of your sexual preference. Perhaps your dad's consistent need to question you is an invitation for you to "come out" to him.

Regardless, it is very difficult to predict how a parent will react when their child announces their sexuality identity.

Do not imagine or assign a particular outcome to this discussion. You should allow for misinterpretation, or even your father's hurt feelings at not being included sooner. It's obvious that he loves you and is trying to negotiate this delicate territory with you. Unfortunately, though you may want his questions to lessen, they might for a period actually increase.

Once you confirm or announce this information to him, your dad will need time to really process what he's hearing. This should not be discouraging.

You're playing the role of teacher here, educating him on your identity and shaping the way you will discuss your love relationships in the future.

It would be best to have this discussion on your schedule and when you feel ready. You may want to invite him to dinner at your place or cook for him at his. Make sure you're in a private setting when you do have "the talk."

Lastly, be careful not to reveal that you are gay by way of an argument or in passing. This conversation deserves some actual sit-down time.

From a practical perspective: Tell your dad you love him and that is why he deserves to know this about you.

State your ample evidence that you are in fact gay based on your own feelings and through actual experiences you've had (if you're comfortable). Grant your father the freedom to express his own emotions surrounding your sexual identity.

You are going to do great. I look forward to hearing how it went.

Please send all questions to ASK NOAH at

Have a profitable and peaceful week,

Noah Kass is a psychotherapist specializing in addiction, relationship issues and work stressors. He has been Clinical Director at The Dunes: East Hampton and Realization Center in Union Square. Mr. Kass was a frequent guest on MSNBC's &"The Dylan Ratigan Show," featured in a segment called "Kass' Couch;" and regularly blogs for The Huffington Post.

Check Out Our Best Services for Investors

Action Alerts PLUS

Portfolio Manager Jim Cramer and Director of Research Jack Mohr reveal their investment tactics while giving advanced notice before every trade.

Product Features:
  • $2.5+ million portfolio
  • Large-cap and dividend focus
  • Intraday trade alerts from Cramer
Quant Ratings

Access the tool that DOMINATES the Russell 2000 and the S&P 500.

Product Features:
  • Buy, hold, or sell recommendations for over 4,300 stocks
  • Unlimited research reports on your favorite stocks
  • A custom stock screener
Stocks Under $10

David Peltier uncovers low dollar stocks with serious upside potential that are flying under Wall Street's radar.

Product Features:
  • Model portfolio
  • Stocks trading below $10
  • Intraday trade alerts
14-Days Free
Only $9.95
14-Days Free
Dividend Stock Advisor

David Peltier identifies the best of breed dividend stocks that will pay a reliable AND significant income stream.

Product Features:
  • Diversified model portfolio of dividend stocks
  • Updates with exact steps to take - BUY, HOLD, SELL
Trifecta Stocks

Every recommendation goes through 3 layers of intense scrutiny—quantitative, fundamental and technical analysis—to maximize profit potential and minimize risk.

Product Features:
  • Model Portfolio
  • Intra Day Trade alerts
  • Access to Quant Ratings
Real Money

More than 30 investing pros with skin in the game give you actionable insight and investment ideas.

Product Features:
  • Access to Jim Cramer's daily blog
  • Intraday commentary and news
  • Real-time trading forums
Only $49.95
14-Days Free
14-Days Free
AAPL $109.50 -1.16%
FB $92.47 0.08%
GOOG $638.31 -0.63%
TSLA $226.00 -2.60%
YHOO $32.35 1.50%


Chart of I:DJI
DOW 17,050.75 +138.46 0.82%
S&P 500 1,995.83 +15.91 0.80%
NASDAQ 4,810.7880 +19.6360 0.41%

Free Reports

Top Rated Stocks Top Rated Funds Top Rated ETFs