1. Intel Bugs Buddy
With best bugs like
, who needs enemies! Right Paul Otellini?
Wait! Did we say
? We meant buds, as in best buggies. Sorry, as in best buddies. That's what we wanted to say...You know what? Why don't we act like
(INTC - Get Report)
and pretend we didn't say anything at all!
Addressing his troops in Taiwan, Intel's CEO said that Microsoft's Windows 8 operating system is being released before it's fully problem-free, according to a
report which cited an employee who asked to remain anonymous. Microsoft intends to release the newest version of its Windows software on Oct. 26.
Oh man. And Mitt Romney thought he had a problem with people leaking highly sensitive, yet viciously insensitive comments spoken at private gatherings. This slip of Otellini's lips is devastating because this is Mr. Softee's first version of Windows designed for touch tablets and it could sink Microsoft's plan to compete with
iPad this Christmas season.
Analysts were already wary of Microsoft introducing another Vista onto the market, so Otellini's comments certainly did not help reassure the Wall Street crowd that Microsoft had eliminated the kinks from its upcoming offering. Furthermore, since Intel is one of Microsoft's closest partners, Otellini's loose talk surely hurt his own cause especially since both companies are suffering from a truly horrific PC market.
That's why -- despite our friends at
saying so -- the whole thing never happened. Yep, according to an Intel press release on Wednesday, Windows 8 is critter-free and the two tech giants are as tight as ever.
"Intel has a long and successful heritage working with Microsoft on the release of Windows platforms, delivering devices that provide exciting experiences, stunning performance, and superior compatibility. Intel fully expects this to continue with Windows 8... Intel CEO Paul Otellini is on record as saying 'Windows 8 is one of the best things that ever happened to Intel,'" said the semiconductor giant in a truly strange statement.
You see. The whole thing never happened. Microsoft and Intel are still best bugs.
Damn. We meant buds. Sorry, we misspoke again.
Wait! No we didn't. The whole thing never happened. Right Paul Otellini?
Written by Gregg Greenberg in New York