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When One Partner Won't Budget

Based on my calculations (which I will freely admit are pure guesstimates based more or less on my own withholdings), he can expect to owe approximately $8,840 by the end of the year. This amount should include federal and state income tax, social security, and medicare. Based on his earnings to date, he should have $4,760 set aside for taxes as of this moment. Guess how much is in his savings account right now? $4,194.99. So he's short of where he should be and since he had been thinking of that as his emergency fund, not his tax fund…well. You see the dilemma.

Where to Go From Here?
Regarding budgeting, my plan is to continue to suggest it and wait for him to catch on before deciding whether to combine finances. He's never even calculated any of this himself, though I did share the projected tax information with him, which he appreciated. While he freely admits he has no idea when any specific bill is due and is always surprised when they arrive, he also doesn't see any need to change the system when he's never been late paying any bill and pays more than the minimum on all his credit cards.

On the positive side, his average disbursement to himself has doubled from about $1,000 to about $2,000, so his business is growing.

What would you do in my situation? As I mentioned in the comments of my previous post, I refuse to become The Girl Who Only Says No or The Girl Who Only Talks About Money, because that will only poison the well for every aspect of our relationship, not just our finances.

I admire a lot of what J.D. and Kris said in their interview with Redbook, and they had a successful multi-decade marriage and a successful (and much rarer) amicable divorce. So please note I will only consider advice that is both relationship-affirming as well as financially astute!

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