4. Yahoo's CEO Silliness
So long Scott Thompson. It sure was nice getting to know you these past four months.
Yahoo! (YHOO - Get Report) added Thompson to its growing list of not-so-dearly departed CEOs Sunday. Thompson, who was sent packing for padding his resume, will pocket a tidy $7 million for his brief stint atop the internet giant.Hey, it's good work if you can lie about your education credentials and get it. Truth be told, Thompson's is just the latest Yahoo scalp to be claimed by activist shareholder Daniel Loeb, who, in related news, will be joining the company's board. The Internet giant named its current head of global media Ross Levinsohn as interim CEO while the company searches for an executive that will, let's be honest, pass Loeb's muster. For those that have lost count, Levinsohn will be Yahoo's fifth CEO in the past five years, following in the failed, yet fleeting footsteps of Thompson, Tim Morse, Carol Bartz and Jerry Yang before him. Congratulations Yahoo! You have officially broken HP's (HPQ) Silicon Valley record for cycling through the most CEOs in the least amount of time. Heck, Spinal Tap drummers last longer than the average occupant of Yahoo's corner office. With all those hirings and firings in mind, we thought we would offer a bit of advice to Levinsohn now that he has assumed the company's top position. First, eliminate all known copies of your resume. The easiest way to avoid Scott Thompson's fate is to remove any trace that you existed prior to this past Monday. If anybody asks where you came from, just say Mrs. Levinsohn's belly. Next, watch your mouth. Refrain from cursing entirely. We won't go as far and blame Carol Bartz's canning on her salty language, but let's just say she didn't help her cause too much when she was dropping F-bombs on everybody from Wall Street analysts, to technology reporters to the guy delivering the Poland Spring bottles. Finally, and most importantly Ross, do not follow the examples set by your predecessors at the bargaining table. If anybody is dumb enough to offer you $47 billion for the company, just like Microsoft (MSFT) did in 2008 when Jerry Yang was pulling the strings, then take it. Don't think twice. Just sell the company on the spot. Even Dan Loeb wouldn't fire you for signing off on a deal like that without checking with him first.