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The Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street: May 11

3. Hesse Mess

Somebody tell all those teachers up there in the great white north that if they want Sprint Nextel (S) CEO Dan Hesse gone then they should simply tell him to 'Take off!'

The Ontario Teachers' Pension Plan, which owns a hefty 4% stake in the telecom, announced its intention Tuesday to vote against Hesse's re-election to Sprint's board. Shares of the telecom have tumbled 83% since Hesse became CEO in December 2007 as competitors snapped up market share on his watch.

How horrible has it been for Hesse? So bad that even hitching his wagon to Apple's (AAPL) shooting star didn't help -- and everybody has been making money off those guys. His grand plan to subsidize iPhones has fizzled and investors are freaked out.

As a response to shareholder gripes, Hesse announced last week he would accept a pay cut to about $3.25 million after forfeiting $346,000 that he's already received for 2012. Nevertheless, the Canadian fund says that's not enough considering the millions of loonies they have lost during Hesse's tenure.

"We view Hesse's reduction in compensation as only partially alleviating our concerns. We therefore do not support his re-election to the board," said the fund on its website.

What a bunch of hosers! What's the difference if Hesse is bounced from Sprint's board if he is still running the company? If they really want Hesse gone, then they should try and oust him as CEO. Maybe take a page from Dan Loeb's Yahoo! (YHOO - Get Report) playbook and comb his resume for padding.

Now that's the beauty way to go.
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