The 5 Dumbest Things on Wall Street This Week: March 16

1. Farewell Cruel Goldman

Some Wall Streeters are calling Greg Smith's farewell letter cum New York Times op-ed his Jerry Maguire moment. And we can understand their point. The former Goldman Sachs (GS) executive certainly had an epiphany about what he viewed as a negative change in culture at his former firm and felt compelled to share it with the world.

"Today is my last day at Goldman Sachs," waxed Smith. "After almost 12 years at the firm ... I believe I have worked here long enough to understand the trajectory of its culture, its people and its identity. And I can honestly say that the environment now is as toxic and destructive as I have ever seen it."

Sure. We can visualize Smith, as played by Tom Cruise, decrying Goldman's greed as he proudly marches out of his corner office to begin a new, and more altruistic, chapter in his life. Maybe he even grabs an idealistic secretary on his way out in order to assist him with his new high-minded venture. And just maybe she looks like Renee Zellweger.

That said, while we certainly grasp Smith's grievances, we here at the Five Dumbest Lab, however, believe that Smith's send-off salutation is less Jerry than Navin, as in Navin R. Johnson.

Navin, if you remember, is the movie character whose Opti-Grab invention enabled him to rise from poverty to extreme wealth, only to lose his moral compass along the way. Like Smith, Navin made millions and millions of dollars selling products which ultimately proved to be harmful to his customers. And like Smith's former employer Goldman, Navin never really cared too much about the welfare of those clients until the government forced his hand.

Goldman ponied up $550 million last year for its conflict-of-interest sins. Similarly, Navin sent payments of $1.09 each to 9,987,653 plaintiffs to compensate them for his misdeeds.

Unlike Smith, however, Navin was wiped out after he personally mailed those check-filled letters. When he finally left his mansion, Navin took all he could carry with him: An ashtray, a paddle game, the remote control, a lamp, a chair. Those were his only possessions in the world before he was eventually saved by his family's good graces.

As for Smith, well, we don't expect him to mail back his millions to the clients he feels he, or at least his firm, defrauded. Or at least we've seen no indication of it. As he repeatedly reminded us in his letter, he went to Stanford and is far too smart to do that. (And apparently Smith, like Navin, was also a major fan of paddle games, boasting that he won a "bronze medal for table tennis" at an international competition.)

Yeah, we feel far more comfortable comparing Greg Smith to Navin R. Johnson than to Jerry Maguire. Two well-meaning guys who set out to find their "special purpose" but ultimately fell victims to corporate corruption.

Come on. You know the Navin R. Johnson we're talking about.

He's The Jerk.

--Written by Gregg Greenberg in New York.

Disclosure: TheStreet's editorial policy prohibits staff editors and reporters from holding positions in any individual stocks.

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