Grammar school teachers and their desk drawers across America are likely ecstatic about the slow demise of novelty shops and the end of whoopie cushions, wacky whistles and fake vomit. Sites such as Vat19, however, wipe the smug smirks off their sallow, aged faces by loading up on Q-Man Mini magnet men ($3.99 to $4.99) to stick to desks and lockers, globs of "Magnetic Thinking Putty" ($14.99) to smear on various other surfaces and giant, three-pound, 4,000-calorie gummi worms ($27.99) to keep them wired. Though giant gummi products including five-pound, 6,100-calorie giant gummi bears ($29.99 to $35.99), half-pound gummi bears on sticks ($9.99 to $11.99) and six packs of nearly three-inch-high gummi bears ($11.99) are among the more popular offerings, there's plenty for grown-up delinquents, too.
The older folks get to turn their expired, demagnetized or maxed-out holiday credit cards into guitar picks with a handy pick punch ($24.99), make microwave popcorn without declaring chemical warfare on the entire office with a microwave corn popper ($20.99) and tote their beers much as marsupials carry their young with help from a beer pouch hoodie ($29.99 to $34.99). If shopped-out adults crave a gummi treat of their own that they won't have to share with kids, try bringing gummi shot glasses ($12.99) to the first post-holiday parent-teacher conferences -- just to make sure that "good will toward men" holiday spirit extends until summer.