5 Dumbest Things on Wall Street: Oct. 28

5. McRib's Return

There are no ribs in a McRib. Not even one. But false advertising is not the bone we have to pick with McDonald's (MCD) over its boneless barbecue pork sandwich.

No, our beef with McDonald's revolves around the shenanigans the company plays with McRib supply. And Monday's announcement that the McRib will be available at all U.S. locations through Nov. 14, instead of scattered select stores does nothing to alleviate our anger that the company continues to stockpile that succulent sandwich in the worst possible way.

If the Germans can order McRibs all year long -- and with a beer too -- then why can't we?

"Bringing it back every so often adds to the excitement," said Marta Fearon, McDonald's U.S. marketing director, who would not comment on future McRib offerings.

Oh that's just wrong Marta! All you are doing is withholding supply to create an unnatural froth among buyers like in the cases of those tightly controlled tech IPOs. Or, even worse, acting like OPEC when it tries to put a stranglehold on the world's oil supply. But in this case you are cornering a commodity far more important to America's security than energy resources. Tragically, unlike petroleum, there is no Strategic McRib Reserve that the President can tap into during times of trouble.

Seriously Marta, that's not adding "excitement." That's just un-American.

Look, we know the demand is there for the sandwich, and we are not just talking about the McRib locator Web site, Twitter postings and fringe Facebook groups like "Bring Back the McRib." We are well aware of the sales spike Mickey D's received when they rolled out the McRib nationally last November, doing so for the first time since 1994. The company may not have offered specific sales figures after last year's launch, preferring to hide behind a veil of onions, pickle slices and that oh-so sweet sauce, but we know they made big bucks.

So if the demand is there, we submit that McDonald's has an obligation to release the supply to match it. If Mickey D's wants to play games, then let them stick to Monopoly.

But don't mess around with our blessed McRib.

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