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5 Terrible Ways to Save the Post Office

Stocks in this article: AMZN NFLX UPS FDX STMP NWS

5. The stamp that stars stars
Speaking of Jwoww, Snooki and the rest of their reality television ilk, the most likely, but least fun, option the Postal Service could pursue to raise revenue would be to forget the rule that "no living person shall be honored by portrayal on U.S. postage" and ease its somewhat reserved sensibilities to let in a wider variety of pop culture icons.

Let a thousand flowers bloom, but let them not be flowers (or flags, or doggies). Let them be sheets of Jersey Shore stars for fans of that show; the cast of Community for fans of that show; and commemorative stamps for The Sopranos and a million more. Let there be Beavis, Butt-head, Daria, Milton and the old King of the Hill clan for fans of Mike Judge (the Simpsons made it on, after all) and all the ranters of Fox (NWS) News and MSNBC and the humorists of Comedy Central for fans of punditry, invective, spin and outright lies. Those who wouldn't buy a Bill O'Reilly stamp might buy a Rachel Maddow, and those who wouldn't buy either might yet buy a Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert.

The Postal Service can double-dip here, of course. Since this is essentially advertising, it can reap dollars from media giants who want to get their stars' faces out there however they can, and at the same time get consumers' paychecks 44 cents at a time.

Or 48 cents at a time, or 50. Or 60. Or 75.

Or whatever the Postal Service will be charging us for stamps if we don't offer it some other revenue streams.

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