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The Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street: June 4

5. Goldman Scalps Calpers

Just when oil spillin' villain BP (BP - Get Report) officially claims Goldman Sachs' (GS - Get Report) crown as the most hated company on earth ... The Vampire Squid Strikes Back.

According to Reuters, Goldman Sachs allegedly lied to Calpers when it was seeking a consulting mandate from the pension fund giant. Goldman's truth-bending seemingly occurred this past March when it assured Calpers that it was not "the target of a formal investigation." On April 16, the Securities and Exchange Commission filed a civil fraud suit against Goldman over a subprime mortgage bond transaction, a charge that arrived six months after regulators warned the investment bank that legal action was likely.

Goldman is one 32 firms the giant pension fund is considering to serve as consultants on real estate-related investments with a final decision set for July 1st, according to Reuters. A Calpers spokesman told Reuters the pension fund "will be reaching out to Goldman for an explanation on their response."

Oy! Here we go again. We can already hear Goldman's rope-a-dope replies: It depends on what the meaning of the word "formal" is. Are you referring to our attire at the time?

Goldman maintains it did not disclose the Wells Notice in regulatory filings because its lawyers viewed the issue was immaterial to the firm's overall revenues. Goldman's application to Calpers, signed by a Goldman managing director on the West Coast, was not submitted under oath, says Reuters.

That was Goldman then, however. We imagine they are swearing about it now.

Dumb-o-meter score: 75 -- The Dumbest Dream Team: BP and Goldman Sachs.
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