The Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street: April 16

Orange Squeezes Dimon

After four years of study, one would think the members of Syracuse University's class of 2010 would be smart enough not to insult one of the few people still hiring in this horrific job market. Sadly, that's not the case.

A group of Syracuse University students are petitioning the college to remove JPMorgan Chase(JPM) CEO Jamie Dimon as this year's commencement ceremony speaker, citing his role in the banking crisis. More than 800 students and alumni have signed the online petition sponsored by an on-campus organization called "Take Back 2010 Syracuse University Commencement," which claims it is "against using the 2010 commencement to restore the public image of the banking industry."

The student group says it is also against using the commencement ceremony to "validate the anti-environmental and anti-humanitarian interests of JPMorgan Chase."

Come on guys, let's calm down a bit. We're talking about Wall Street's golden boy here, not the skipper from the Exxon(XOM) Valdez or a "vampire squid" from Goldman Sachs(GS). Maybe your history books have not been updated yet -- or maybe you missed it because you were playing beer pong at the frat house -- but Dimon showed more leadership than nearly all of his peers during the banking crisis, getting out of the subprime slime before the credit tsunami hit.

Furthermore, if you go to the library and look up Bear Stearns and Washington Mutual, you will learn an important lesson about how doing the right thing can pay off. Both those shops ran themselves into the ground, allowing Dimon to swoop in and buy them at bargain prices.

University Chancellor Nancy Cantor said in an open letter earlier this month that the university has no plans to bump Dimon from his speaking spot. We think that makes sense. Eventually her students will learn that the "Bank of Mom and Dad" will not be open forever and that they may need a Dimon if things get rough.

Dumb-o-meter score: 75 -- Instead of Dimon, they should campaign against a capella singers at commencements. Now they are the real menace to society.