When we heard that Consumer Reports would be releasing the results of its annual coffee survey, we couldn't help but feel for the people who had to test all 50 blended coffee varieties (fyi, blended coffees mix different kinds of beans). I mean, they must have had to drink them all in relatively quick succession in order to compare, right? Can you imagine the caffeine buzz? Well, it turns out we were all wrong. A spokesperson for Consumer Reports told us, "our tasters do not swallow the coffee. They go into a special room that is vacuum pressured and sucks out all interfering smells so they only get the aroma of the cup they are tasting. Pretty sure they swish it, and spit it." Well, that's a relief. Anyone who drinks 37 different cups of coffee in one day, vacuumed room or not, is bound to completely flip out sooner or later.
Onto the rankings. We've listed the top 10 caffeinated coffee blends and the top 10 decaf coffee blends, and noted how much they cost per pound and per cup. It should be noted that none of the coffees Consumer Reports reviewed made it into the top two categories (very good or excellent). The best any of them got was a rating of "good," which frankly doesn't seem so good. Not one stand-out? Shocking for a country as caffeinated as us. According to CaffeineDependence.org, a project of the Johns Hopkins University Medical School, "It is estimated that in North America between 80 and 90 percent of adults and children habitually consume caffeine." And none of our coffee is better than good?
Alas. We'll start with the regular old caffeinated stuff.