Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street: Sept. 18

Buffett's Lehman Lapse

NEW YORK (TheStreet) -- Warren Buffett oversees a $155 billion conglomerate, counsels presidents on financial matters and can supposedly see stock prices far into the future. Yet he still can't check his voice mail, even when the fate of the global economy is literally on the line.

Buffett, the CEO of Berkshire Hathaway(BRK-A Quote) and arguably the world's greatest living investor, admitted this week he was approached a year ago about insuring Lehman Brothers' assets before the investment bank filed for bankruptcy, according to Bloomberg. Nevertheless, the so-called Oracle of Omaha said he never received the financial documents he requested in order to take action.

Oh, they were sent all right. He just never got them.

Speaking on Tuesday at a conference in Carlsbad, Calif., Buffett was asked about backing Lehman while Barclays(BCS Quote) was considering a bid for the firm. Buffett responded that he didn't receive the fax he requested and later learned there was a voice mail he missed because he didn't know how to retrieve it.

In case you've been hiding under a rock or just blocked it out of your memory entirely, Lehman went belly up soon after, dragging the world's banking system along with it. Meanwhile, Barclays benefited by the billionaire's unfathomable inability to operate a minor piece of telephony. The British bank pounced upon Lehman's still warm, yet bankrupt, carcass within hours of its demise and cherry-picked its most sought after properties.

Buffett went on to tell conference attendees that Berkshire is currently buying stocks because he is "getting a lot for my money."

Take a note from us, Warren. Use some of that money and get yourself a secretary. The next time the banking system blows up it would be nice to reach you, or at least have somebody take a message.

Dumb-o-meter score: 95 -- Truly amazing. Buffett can make sense out of AIG's(AIG Quote) financial statements, but can't comprehend the directions to his desk phone.