For Immediate Release: Bing vs. Bing

For all of Stanley Bing's columns on TheStreet.com, click here.

Today Microsoft (MSFT Quote) announced it would be launching a new search engine that will compete with Yahoo! (YHOO Quote) and Google (GOOG Quote) in the vast hunt for search bucks. In an incredible act of branding sagacity, they announced that the name of the new search engine will be: Bing.

In response to this, today I have issued the following news release: BING VS. BING

LONG-TIME FORTUNE COLUMNIST AND BEST-SELLING AUTHOR STANLEY BING CONDEMNS "BRAND INTRUSION" BY NEW MICROSOFT SEARCH ENGINE, ALSO TO BE NAMED "BING"

OFFERS SERVICES TO NEW ENTITY FOR "ANY REASONABLE OFFER"

NEW YORK, MAY 28, 2009 -- Stanley Bing, Fortune magazine columnist and best-selling author, today expressed "moderate outrage" at the branding of the new search engine to be offered by Microsoft, also to be called Bing. At the same time, Bing the author took the unusual step of offering an initial olive branch to Bing the search engine, proposing that the two powerful brands merge into one for which Mr. Bing could be the logo, corporate symbol and spokesman, to the extent that it fits in with his other duties.

"This is an unprecedented case of brand intrusion by one of the most powerful and wealthy corporations in the world," said Bing the author, as opposed to Bing the search engine, which, unlike Mr. Bing himself, cannot be called for comment because it is not a person. "At the same time, I believe I can propose a solution to this problem that will work to the benefit of both Bings, me and the other one," he added.