Hunt, Don't Shop, for Thanksgiving Turkey

Alternatively, choose a "turducken," that crazy Cajun matryoshka composed of a chicken stuffed in a duck, stuffed in a turkey, layered with two types of stuffing. Turduckens are very easy to cook and slice simply, like a ringed meatloaf with wings.

If you're worried that all this stuffing might require you to dislodge yourself from the Barcalounger, have no fear! There's no need to debone and stuff the birds yourself. There's only one Martha Stewart and chances are she's not coming over for dinner. Order the pre-fabbed bird online at Cajun Grocer.

If you're a do-it-yourselfer, you can buy a couple of baby turkeys and raise them from birth. Try some Web hunting-and-pecking to find a nearby poultry purveyor, or have the eggs shipped from Meyer's Hatchery.

Of course, you'll have to build a pen, feed the birds and keep them safe, but in four to six months you'll be ready to slaughter your own. Though it's too late for a homegrown bird this year, if the Dow continues to drop, they might be your best investment for Q4 2009.

And though the turkey is the centerpiece of Thanksgiving, it's not the whole point. When asked what he likes about hunting, Devey says: "The best part is being able to get outdoors, get some exercise, enjoy times with friends and family."

The same goes for Thanksgiving. It's not what you're feasting upon, but with whom you're feasting. Enjoy the family and the feast.