A Pig Roast, the Ultimate in Barbecuing

The last option is to create a pit, build a fire in the pit (or use hot lava rocks, if you find yourself in Hawaii), and suspend the pig on top of the fire. You can build a pit with cement blocks or bricks, and purchase some heavy-duty grates or rigging from Home Depot.

For this method, butterfly the pig and secure it between two metal grates so it cooks efficiently and is "easy" to turn. This pig-turning rig offers good visual bang, a bit of ingenuity and is the least expensive of the three. For more details on this approach, visit the self-proclaimed experts, Three Guys From Miami, for details.

You can also roast your pig slowly on a really big grill. But somehow that feels like kissing your sister. You could do it, technically, but it shouldn't be done.

Next , choose a pig. A freshly killed, eviscerated pig should be around 100 pounds, while a suckling pig is closer to 25 pounds.

Take a trip to your best local butcher. Manhattan-based Lobel's is more than happy to fill local orders, but Evan Lobel acknowledges, "It becomes difficult for us to ship. When you start adding on those costs, it's not very green."

So go local. Find a local butcher who works with local farmers, or, better yet, go directly to a farmer. Ask around, surf the Web, make a new friend. Or visit a fresh-kill facility, which are popular in immigrant neighborhoods.

Whole pig roasting is for the ambitious. The kind of man who likes to build his own deck, whittle his own canoe, create a wife from his own rib.