The Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street

5. Traders' Ptooy-taries

Science established this week that when things get heated in that manliest of places -- the trading pit -- traders' hormones kick it up a notch as well.

As part of a Cambridge University study, a group of very brave scientists took saliva samples from 269 men and four women at a London trading pit and analyzed the contents -- not for the usual things one expects to find in a broker's spit -- but for testosterone.

They found that as traders make high-than-average profits, their spittle grows flush with testosterone and cortisol. The former hormone is known to be linked to risk-taking, while the latter often emerges when people are faced with unpredictable situations.

Media reports on the findings pointed to another U.S. study that demonstrated young men who'd been shown erotic photos were more likely to take risks. When shown mundane or scary objects, they'd be more risk-averse.

Before high-powered traders consult their doctors to get an added edge in the pits, they should note: The study cautioned against drawing any causal conclusions between higher testosterone levels and successful trading. A high-volume day may have caused the hormone surge, and not the other way around. In fact, trading on too much manpower may cause the sort of reckless investing that causes bubbles.

Presumably due to the dearth of female traders, the study results may have been slightly skewed. More regrettable, though, is that the study may be right, and men have only themselves (etc.) to blame for the current credit crisis and every other economic disaster in history.

Dumb-o-meter Score: 65. "If testosterone reaches physiological limits, as it might during a market bubble, it can turn risk-taking into a form of addiction." says Dr. John Coates, lead scientist in the study.