The Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street: March 28

5. Buy Bear on eBay

Bear Stearns shareholders received a small mercy this week when JPMorgan Chase's(JPM Quote) offer for their once-highly valued stock was raised to $10 from $2. But alas, more indignity lurked where indignity often does: in the dirty laundry pile.

Remember how the stock was trading at $170 a year ago? Well, a Bear Stearns T-shirt sold on eBay(EBAY Quote) for $151, only 19 bucks off the high the stock traded at.

The ghoulish habit of buying trinkets from failed companies has some precedence in the (in)famous tilted Enron E, for example, which fetched $44,000 at auction a few years back, making the Bear Stearns T-shirt look like a bargain. Some might question the wisdom of allowing a product with such bad vibes into your home, but maybe by tilting the E the other way or washing the T-shirt, you can cleanse away the bad. That said, it's now beginning to make sense that my golf game has been a bit off for the past, oh, two decades.

Dumb-o-meter score: 85. Anyone want a bag of Drexel Burnham Lambert imprinted golf Tees? Going once, going twice...