The Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street: March 28

4. Clear Channel's Legal Vows

In many ways, Wall Street can be seen as the economy's high school boyfriend. They both want to break up, but they're inseparable. And while every human and business relationship can degenerate into a troubled product of combustion, Clear Channel Communications(CCU Quote) actually got a restraining order this week against a consortium of Wall Street firms, which presumably must not come within 100 yards or call drunk in the middle of the night.

Wall Street firms told to shut up and behave by the long arm of the law? Can economic recovery be far behind in the form of a new, better boyfriend who really cares?

Clear Channel was on the path toward a future of better things, one with two chivalrous private-equity partners. The Texas judge's order against the louts came Wednesday. These overbearing, controlling investment banks will not be allowed to "interfere with or thwart consummation of the merger agreement," said the judge, scoring one for those everywhere who have tried to get on with their lives without previously rejected suitors crawling out from the woodwork to make trouble.

Apparently, the likes of Citigroup(C Quote), Credit Suisse(CS Quote) and Wachovia(WB Quote) will have to finance consummation of the deal, no more questions asked. Wow. Making the dumb, out-of-control bad boys of the world pay for the wedding of those who don't fear a healthy (if debt laden) relationship. That, my friends, is progress.

Dumb-o-meter score: 85. Never date -- let alone marry -- a scoundrel. Words to live by, on Wall Street and Main.