The Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street: March 28

3. McCain's 0% Home-Ownership Solution

In Barack Obama's America, banks and homeowners will just sit down and come to magical understandings with each other. Well, John McCain has a different idea. In fact, this week he apparently had two different ideas.

For starters, the Captain of the Straight Talk Express spoke courageously in California, a state that sits at the seat of the nation's housing trouble. Refusing to pander, McCain said that there should be no rapid intervention for homeowners or banks.

In fact, he said, seemingly willing to sign California over to the Democrats in order to stand on principle, there should be no intervention. "It is not the duty of government to bail out and reward those who act irresponsibly, whether they are big banks or small borrowers," he said.

Obama and Hillary were tumbling over each other to dole out billions in relief packages to homeowners, and McCain actually described some homeowners as greedy and reckless. Maybe, some thought, the political world is changing and not because of Obama's promise to get lions to lay down with lambs.

That lasted about six seconds, of course, when the Straight Talk express veered into oncoming traffic.

McCain, perhaps sensing that he had lobbed a hanging curve to Democrats looking to paint him as in the pocket of big business, referenced General Motors'(GM Quote) great move in going to 0% financing after 9/11. He appeared to say that banks should do the same.

I'll let the political animals sort out the truth, but let's wind our way back to his showcasing of GM. With the benefit of hindsight, how did that 0% financing impact the fast-failing auto company? Uh, maybe big business should go for Obama, who may be able to get American auto companies and their foreign competitors to run through fields holding hands.

Dumb-o-meter score: 85. Conspiracy kooks, an exceedingly large voting block, immediately saw McCain's zero-financing push in the context of his recent trip to the Middle East, which obviously had him fixated on the Islamic standing against charging interest. Is the double agent Manchurian Candidate in this race not the foreign-educated Obama but the Naval Academy's McCain?