The Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street: Feb. 29

5. Yahoo!'s Galvanizing Distraction

A single word uttered by Yahoo!'s(YHOO Quote) fearful leader this week caught our fancy and earned Jerry Yang a candidacy for this week's list. But then he uttered a second, which vaulted him over the top.

First up, though: the first.

Pontificating at the Interactive Advertising Bureau conference this week, Yang, who came back to lead Yahoo! and has succeeded only in spinning the company's wheels as it remains stuck in the swamps of Sunnyvale, said that Microsoft's(MSFT Quote) unsolicited $42 billion bid had "galvanized" Yahoo!.

"We are very focused," he said. "It's been a galvanizing event for everyone at Yahoo!"

Many who heard the remark were also focused on it, to the point of furrowing their brows and scratching out their ear canals. I guess one man's galvanized is another man's euthanized.

Let me explain. It is indeed a fair estimate to say that a $42 billion bid is an energizing, take-notice gesture if ever there were one. As a result, Yang's first comment deserves inclusion on this list for the pure audaciousness with which Yang reaches for the obvious.

But generality is the enemy of both art and public statements, and the fact that you can drive a flatbed through the meaning of the word galvanized makes it even dopier. Galvanized to finally get Yahoo! in fine fettle?

Or galvanized to take that Gates loot and run? We may never know, but what we do know is this: just a couple of days later, Yahoo! whined in an SEC filing that Microsoft's bid had been -- well, the antonym of galvanized, if there even is one.

After 48 hours or so of deep reflection, the leaders of Yahoo! intoned: The Microsoft bid had proved: "a significant distraction for our management and employees."

But I thought counting unrealized gains was galvanizing? Can it possibly be galvanizing to the point of distraction?

Dumb-o-meter score: 75. The most unfortunate side-effect of this dim use of language is not that shareholders have to take a protective order out on Yahoo!'s next utterance. It's the wincingly bad headlines that follow. Look at this dark beauty from the New York Post: "Yahoo! Chief's Yin, Yang on M'Soft Bid."