The Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street

2. Homeowners! Remain Calm!

Rejoice ye of little faith. Homeowners and you real misfortunates -- holders of housing stocks like HovnanianHOV or Pulte HomesPHM -- can celebrate that as the housing market slides its merry way into oblivion, small-town government officials are on board to keep everyone calm.

Witness the genius in the rough of J. Michael Jones, the city marshal and chief administrator of good old Lavon, Texas, about a half hour from Dallas. The housing boom laid siege to good old Lavon, with McMansions replacing every last blade of wind-blown wheat.

But then, as has been documented, the housing bubble popped in the wind, and now the only things going up in Lavon are "for sale" signs, which brings us back to the pressured or perhaps slightly overworked J. Michael Jones, the local politico keen on maintaining calm in his town.

City government, now light of money, has scotched plans for everything from a new City Hall to street paving. Jones sprung into action, weighing in with a public relations strategy the CEOs and portfolio managers might do well to heed. Jones, eminently aware that news of potential layoffs of city employees is like a fright mask to homebuyers, allowed: "I say that very quietly, because I don't want to panic our citizens or employees." And where did Jones say this very quiet thing, perfectly calibrated not to panic the masses? On page A1 of The New York Times.

Dumb-o-meter score: 85. It would have been higher, but we have to give Jones credit for his understated use of the newspaper of record.