Funny Money: Autumn of Discontent

Fox Business launched and was remarkably upbeat all week. No bad news, no big words, just sunshine and puppydogs and lollipops all from their broadcast studios in the heart of Stepford, Conn.

The International Accounting Standards Board appointed a new chair for a term of, oh, let's just say two years. Give or take a few years. In that ballpark. I'm not really sure. Eh, that's close enough.

Microsoft relented in its decade-old antitrust fight with the EU. It will share technical information with European rivals, and, to be spiteful, will also release Ethnic Strife and Third Reich Version 4.0.

The Post Office introduced a new ad campaign. Um, it's the Post Office. Go mail stuff and shut up. What's next, stoplights with hip promos? "Hey kids, we're traffic signs. We're cool, we're down, we're now! Don't crash, biatches!"

Merrill Lynch, a venerable, experienced, intelligent bank, lost billions. But, yeah, we should totally let Grandma invest her Social Security in the market. It's a no-brainer. Literally. No brains.

Amazon's stock is near its high from 1999. Phew. All this time I'd been looking for signs that this current economic bubble was like the Internet bubble and I... Uh oh...

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