The Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street This Week

5. Open Field Flip-Flop

Imagine a world in which you could buy any phone you like and then turn around and use it on any network that suits your fancy. Sounds incredible, right? Until now, such a fantastical place could only be found in exotic locales known as "Europe" and "Asia," or more precisely, "Anywhere but America," where GSM is the standard and issues like compatibility aren't so formidable.

The telecom industry's complete and total control over what phones Americans can and can't use has been one of the more perplexing features of a nation whose consumers typically have an astounding array of choices for just about everything else.

In America, "Freedom of Choice" isn't just a Devo album. Heck, AT&T (T Quote) was broken up in 1984, the beginning of the end of Ma Bell's long-distance monopoly, and people have been able to choose their local phone provider for nearly a decade.

Starting next year, choice -- or at least the appearance thereof -- is going to come to America's long-suffering cell-phone users, too, thanks to that great American telecom company Verizon (VZ Quote).

After years of keeping its customers tightly fenced into its own walled (yet wireless) garden, Verizon announced Tuesday it is finally embracing the open-standards movement. By the end of 2008, Verizon plans to allow customers to use non-Verizon branded devices on its wireless network.

"This is a transformation point in the 20-year history of mass market wireless devices -- one which we believe will set the table for the next level of innovation and growth," Lowell McAdam, Verizon Wireless president and CEO said in a statement.

But as my colleagues Scott Moritz and Gary Krakow detailed on the TheStreet.com TV , there's less here than meets the eye.

First, Verizon "is not changing our successful retail model," McAdam explains, "but rather adding an additional retail option for customers looking for a different wireless experience."

In other words, Verizon is "looking for new devices as ways to charge people who aren't on the network," as Moritz put it.

We're all for shameless capitalism, but Verizon is going to use a self-described "$20 million state-of-the-art testing lab" to test and approve any and all products designed to interface with its wireless network and "somebody has to pay for this," notes Krakow. Then there's the related questions of what Verizon will be charging those nutty people it describes as "'bring-your-own' customers."

Second, Verizon's motives aren't as pure as extending its "track record of listening to customers and transforming entrenched industry practices based on those customer needs," as McAdam's PR team would have folks believe. The firm is pretty clearly responding to Google's (GOOG Quote) success -- via a pledge to bid at least $4.6 billion -- in getting the Federal Communications Commission to guarantee open access so that the winners of the upcoming 700-megahertz radio wave auction can allow any devices on the new frequencies.

Verizon initially sued to stop Google's effort before relenting when it became clear that consumers really want choice -- or maybe it was when it seemed clear the FCC would rule against it.

Dumb-o-meter score: 61. Maybe Verizon is trying to glom onto the Apple iPhone phenomenon, but only after blowing the opportunity to be the exclusive provider.