Funny Money: iPods and Debt

The UAW held a 6-hour strike against Chrysler (my poppa!) during which time negotiators for both sides sat in a stocked conference room and said, "You think we've been in here long enough?" Yeah, probably looks like we're serious, let's go. "Wait, hold on, I think I can wolf down another sandwich." Well... You're a tough negotiator. Only If I can have more Perrier!" "Agreed!"

Actually, the shorter strike was just an attempt for labor and manufacturing to reflect their lessened relevance. Mmmmm, iPods and debt.

Sallie Mae, the student lender, is suing a group of firms to force them to purchase the company. Sallie Mae keeps calling the companies and is able to track them down even when they move. The companies told Sallie Mae they were broke right now, but have been looking for jobs, and should be able to get her some money next month. Sallie Mae threatened to take away their diplomas.

The St. Joe company underwent big cutbacks this week, but it wasn't as bad as the Hey Joey company, which suffered a shortage of white tank tops and Camaros.

Ryder reported lower earnings, but the company's prospects look good should there be a massive need to move, such as a hurricane, change of administration, or a lot of foreigners buying all our property. Done and almost done and done.

Miller and Coors have merged so that their Lite and Light beers can just come from the same giant vat of lukewarm water. You won't notice the difference.

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